What Does It Mean if Your Girlfriend Doesnt Want to Kiss You? (10 Reasons and How to Fix Them)

If your girlfriend turns away when you try to kiss her, it can be tough to know what’s going on. Does it mean you’re a bad kisser, or is there something going on with your relationship? We know it can be anxiety-inducing, but don’t worry. We’ve put together a quick check-in on personal hygiene and common reasons for avoiding smooching, so you can work to solve the reasons behind why she doesn’t want to kiss you.’

1 Your breath isn’t the freshest.

Brush your teeth, pop a mint in your mouth, or chew gum. Since smell is an important part of attraction and how we perceive others, your girlfriend might be turned off if she catches a whiff of your last meal. Before you see her or before you go in for a kiss, freshen up your breath.

2 One of you has chapped lips.

Use lip balm and stay hydrated to keep your lips soft. Chapped lips make kissing feel unpleasant for both parties. If she’s the one with chapped lips, you can give her a cute lip balm set or a gift bag with lip balm, lotion, and other spa-related items so she doesn’t feel embarrassed. Before you go in for a kiss, you can even use your lip balm and casually offer it to her.^[2]

• Pull out your lip balm and ask if she wants to use it, saying, “Hey do you want some?”

3 She doesn’t like your kissing technique.

You might be using too much tongue or pressure. You might even be biting her or causing her pain. Don’t worry, just like everything else, kissing takes practice, but it’s something you can improve. Try to stay relaxed in your body and lips, and take note of what kissing technique your girlfriend uses so you can mimic it.

• Let your lips lead and keep the tongue to a minimum (at first). Then follow her lead and try the level of pressure and tongue motion she uses.
• When in doubt, ask “How do you like to be kissed?”

4 You’ve recently argued or she feels disconnected from you.

Reflect on the quality of your relationship. Has anything changed lately? Holding back on physical affection might be your girlfriend’s way of communicating that something’s wrong—even though it can be really distressing and frustrating for you. She might be withdrawing if she doesn’t feel heard or understood. Start a conversation with your partner about your needs in the relationship as well as hers.

• Ask open-ended questions that don’t rely on blaming one partner. For instance, you can ask, “What’s missing from our relationship?” or “What can we do to make our relationship better?”
• Reader Poll: We asked 1103 wikiHow readers what they’d do if they noticed a lack of connection in their relationship, and 50% of them agreed that they would initiate a conversation with their partner to address the issue.

5 She’s stressed, busy, or upset.

Provide emotional support to help her feel better. If your girlfriend has a lot on her mind, she might not be in the mood for kissing. This may be the case if she temporarily seems to be uninterested in kissing but is usually enthusiastic about affection. The good news is your relationship is probably doing fine! While she’s going through tough times, empathize with her feelings to foster emotional intimacy.